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thekingofsarcasrn:

fandom-lair:

wedrinkmoriartea:

simonjadis:

callmeoutis:

secretlifeofageekygirl:

The amount of notes concerns me

i’m more concerned about the fact that this orange is still on the loose he could kill again at any time

the newspapers give this notorious killer a nickname

much to the dismay of the lead detective

BLOOD ORANGE OH MY GOD I’M CRYING

i cRY THIS IS AMAZING

HE DIDNT EVEN DELIVER THE PUNCHLINE AND ITS THE GREATEST PUN IVE EVER SEEN

(Source: loadedsword)

tardis-blueimpala:

findthepaththatisyourown:

peaceloveandstarwars:

“I was walking down the boardwalk in Venice Beach and some kids had probably two litters of puppies in a cardbord box. They were maybe a day to 3 days old and she was at the very bottom of the box and she couldn’t open her eyes yet. Nearly could fit into the palm of my hand.. and they were like ‘gimme 300 dollars!’ and I was like ‘I got 20 bucks on me. Give me the one that’s not gonna make it through the day.’ And I took her to the vet and he was like ‘I don’t know, man. She’s too young, she shouldn’t be away from her mom.’ So I bottle-fed her for a month and she used to kiss her way around which is how she got her name ‘Bisou’ - it means ‘kiss’ in french. And 12 years later, here she is.”

ALL OF MY CREYS

I… love… THIS MAN.

meisterful:

drochfaol:

ryancrobert:

sexybritishllama:

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

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